Lo, I beheld the Weekend Roundup, and ’twas wicked fearsome and all that

Saw what you want about this weekend. When Monday comes back ’round, we may be tired and we may be beat, but by no means will we be hungry. Because we pretty much spent the entire weekend eating. We ate in, we ate out… but most of all, we just ate.

See, Shannon’s folks were in town for a short visit, and wherever they go, copious amounts of foodstuffs seem to follow. It started Friday night, shortly after their arrival. They recently celebrated their 38th wedding anniversary, so we decided to treat them to a nice dinner at Hereford House, a well-loved Kansas City steakhouse. And lo, how we ate. Giant appetizer plates of fruit and cheese and squid (one of those three is nopt like the other), bread, soup and salad, giant steaks and potatoes and (at least in my case) fish, plus heaping plates of dessert. And then for the second course… ha, I kid.

Here’s Jack and me chowing on some manner of seared muscle tissue.

receding hairlines, bulging guts

Afterwards, miserable, we went out for ice cream. I kid again! But we were pretty miserable, with our stuffed bellies aching and distended. Nonetheless, we gamely wandered around Zona Rosa for a little while. The kids even found the strength somehow to chase each other around for a bit. Just the thought of doing so made us feel like vomiting, so we eventually made our way home for.. you know, sleep. And digestion.

So what did we do first thing the next morning? We went out for breakfast. Of course. I don’t think any of us were even hungry. It was force of habit, more than anything. It’s Saturday morning, the in-laws are in, we go out for breakfast, and we choke down the food whether or not we’re hungry. In this case, we headed to the standard Corner Cafe for the standard biscuits-n-gravy and cinnamon rolls and eggs and bacon et cetera. (At first, I type “et catera,” which, given the food-related nature of this post, seemed appropriate, if accidental.)

i couldn’t bring myself to point out the food in their teeth

After the delicious but unnecessary breakfast, we headed back to the house. Nana took the kids out to spoil buy stuff for them (that’s what these grandparental types do), and I concerned myself with cutting the grass. Quickly. Very quickly, it turns out, because the skies were gray and heavy and threatening and I knew that it was probably going to be rainy for several days. Kind of a now or never situation there, so I was rushing through it. Lo and behold, our neighbor, unbidden, showed up in the yard with his mower and offered to help me get it done in half the time. And so it was that the two of us mowed the backyard in no time flat. See, there are still people in this world who are good and kind and selfless. That’s not to say that I’m one of those people. I’m just saying, is all. Anyway, the joke was on him, as the rain held off for another seven hours.

Grass trimmed, the kids and I napped while Shannon and her folks headed to the Argosy for some gamblin’ fun. (Shannon won $20, hooray, we’re rich?) When they got back from getting fleeced gaming, we took the kiddies to go see Monster vs Aliens in 3-D!

Shannon knows we hate to share popcorn, so she brings little bowls we use to split up the giant bag of greasy kernels. Here are Steven and his Nana, waiting for the show to start. This picture was taken with the camera we were using the pirate the movie.

they can smile, because they weren’t the ones who spent 40 freaking dollars to see this thing

Maya was initially freaked out a little by the 3-D effects, but they eventually grew on her and she ended up enjoying the flick.

she’s a soul girl

Of course, we all ate like pigs furing the movie–popcorn, candy, and so on–so what better to do post-movie than go home and eat? Shannon’s dad had prepared a feast of beef and chicken kabobs on the grill. And a feast it was, with enough grub for a small army. Admittedly, a very small army, but still.

With bellies stuffed (yet again) we settled in a for a night of more movie-watchin’ as the rain started to pour. Hellboy II, this time, and of course we waited until Maya went to bed. The sequel was a little less creepy than the original, but it was still a bit much for a five-year-old girl.

As Sunday dawned, the in-laws headed home, leaving a refrigerator full of leftovers, and we headed for church. But alas, the eatin’ wasn’t over yet. As if we hadn’t shoved enough vittles down our gullet, we got together with some friends for happy hour at Houlihan’s

why am i the only one being strangled 

We made a meal of appetizers, and they were all yummy. But when you mix them together–blue cheese-covered potato chips, Thai chili chicken wings, mini-sliders, and chocolate cake–it’s a recipe for indigestion. I can almost see myself wavering and bulging like in those old 1970s Pepto-Bismol commercials that I can’t be bothered to search for on YouTube.

I can’t be bothered to do much of anything, really. For instance, my stomach is too full and I am too miserable to bother proofreading this thing. If there are errors in it, so be it! I really need to go vomit. Good night, everybody!

Leave a Reply