Halloween Roundup
Ah, Halloween! It’s arguably the most wonderful time of the year. Sure, Christmas is great and all, and Arbor Day is also pretty awesome. But you have to love the only holiday where it’s okay–encouraged, even!–for children to disguise themselves and wander dark streets, roving house to house to extort candy from the occupants. The Horn Young-Types revel in Halloween, with its sugar-drenched and chocolate-covered atmosphere of decadence and lawlessness. So then, let us now enjoy some photos of the holiday.
The Weekend Roundup, she is lovely, no?
Oh, mercy! What is with you people? You mean you want me to write another Weekend Roundup for you, after I just wrote one a scant week ago? Why you gotta be so demanding? You think I got nothing better to do than park myself in front of a computer on Sunday nights, foregoing the simple joys of The Simpsons and King of the Hill to slake your thirst for all things Horn? Get outta my face, you! You want a Weekend Roundup, you gotta earn it. No Weekend Roundup for you! Okay, maybe just a little one.
Kids: So cute, so bewildering
We were driving home last night, around 7:30 p.m., and I had the following conversation with Maya.
Maya: I’m hungry!
Me: You can have something when we get home.
Maya: I’m hungry now!
Me: We’re almost home. What do you want to eat?
Maya: Orange things.
Me: (long pause) Orange things? What do you mean? What are orange things?
Maya: They’re… orange things.
Me: Did you eat them at school?
Maya: No.
Me: Did you eat them at home?
Maya: No.
Me: Where did you eat them?
Maya: Nowhere.
Me: Well, what did they taste like?
Maya: (brief pause) Good.
I never figured out what she was talking about. When we got home, she ate an apple. Note: apples are not orange.
The Weekend Roundup seems to have an invisible touch, yeah
It reaches in and grabs right hold of your heart! That’s right, a mere seven of your Earth days have passed since last we trod the path of the Weekend Roundup, and what do you have to show for it? If you’re like me, not much, except for maybe a few more gray hairs and kids that respect you just a little bit less than they did this time last week. But you’re probably not like me. For your sake, I fervently pray that you aren’t. Anyway, I’m rambling here. Let’s do this thing. The Weekend Roundup: Because nothing says “average Midwestern family of four” than lyrics to a 20-year-old Genesis song.
By the way, no photos of any of this. Why, you ask? Because we didn’t take any, silly! Maybe it is time you started using the “logic” when you think about things.
Fine you big baby I’ll write a post!
Yeah yeah I know. You all have been sitting on the edge of your seats waiting to hear from me.
So move over Priceman, Momma’s here to share the juicy gossip you’ve all been dying to hear!
Okay so I’m not really going to dish except about my own life!
I can’t believe it’s been three weeks since I went to Dallas. Overall I had a great time hanging out with my family except when my mommy got really sick and had to go to the ER:( Other than that, we hung out at Uncle Mike’s hotel where we stayed. Awesome hotel. Simply beautiful with shopping right outside the front door and a great restaurant in the lobby which included an outdoor deck that was so awesome! We ate a lot, swam, shopped and much more. Here’s some more pics…
Read these books, loser
Slow week, post-wise. Nothing at all since the last Weekend Roundup. Of course, it’s not like I’m the only one who can post stuff here, you know. (Shannon and Steven, I’m looking disapprovingly in your direction.) I guess I’d better step up to the plate here, and post something so it doesn’t look like we’re totally slacking off. So to that end… a book recommendation!
I just finished the last book in Neal Stephenson’s Baroque Cycle, a mammoth trilogy that has taken up all of my reading energy for the past three months. The three books, which serve as a kind of prequel to Stephenson’s Cryptonomicon (another book I read and loved):
- Quicksilver
- The Confusion
- The System of the World
The whole cycle deals with the beginnings of rationalism and the Enlightenment and of the financial system that makes the world go ’round. Boring, you’d think, but there are pirates! Romance! Adventure! Intrigue! Plus, they’re funny. Often, laugh-out-loud funny. It’s 3000 pages that I didn’t want to end. So I guess what I’m saying is, read these books or I’ll punch you in the face.
I got your Weekend Roundup right here
There was a time in America when people thought for themselves, when the ordinary citizens of this great land were known for their self-reliance, their individuality, a pull-themselves-up-by-their-own-bootstraps attitude that helped build the most powerful nation in the world on a wild, untamed continent. But I am not going to talk about any of that. I’m just gonna talk about our weekend, ‘kay?
Why I love this city
Where else can you see cattle being herded through the downtown business district?
This was some sort of promotion for the American Royal, a historic Kansas City tradition that for whatever reason I have never seen fit to attend.
The horses were walking on the sidewalks, too, so you better believe I watched my step on the way back to the office.
Locked doors and cheeseburgers?
What do those two items have in common? Steven apparently totally freaking hates them. How do I know this? Because of this wrinkled, torn, dirty piece of paper I found in the garage the other day.
In case you can’t read his chicken scratches, here is Steven’s Bottom 10, the 10 things that vex him to no end (with his spellings and capitalizations intact):
- Tornadoes
Is anyone a big fan of these, really? - No video games or legos
He hates this because this is his punishment when he does something particularly atrocious, such as speaking without being spoken to. Know your place, child! - Milk
Oh, he’ll dip cookies in it. Eat cereal awash in it. But drink it? Drink something that came from the underside of a cow? NEVER! - Cabbage Juice Smell
Can’t say that I’m a big fan of this, either. But where exactly is he encountering this in his everyday life? What the heck is going on at that school of his? - Gas station Restrooms
We’re all with you on this one, son. - Classic Western Movies
Will Steven never learn to appreciate the subtle joys of Gabby Hayes? - Poo-bah
I think he means this. - Locked doors
It’s because of the mystery they present: what glorious wonder lies behind that door, something so precious that the door must be locked, that none may glimpse its majesty and thus be struck dumb? The not-so-glamorous answer is usually, “Your old man reading a magazine on the can.” And trust me, that will strike you dumb. - Puzzles
Even the Jumble?! Oh, especially the Jumble. - Cheese Burgers
Even White Castles?! Oh, especially White Castles.
I guess I should just be thankful that “Dad” wasn’t an entry on there. Yes, the list is kind of odd. But it makes me proud, in a way. He’s cataloguing his pet peeves, taking his complaints about the world and putting them to page. Basically, he’s whining about stuff over which he has little control. Just like his old man.
The Weekend Roundup! How sweet the sound
Don’t cry, baby. I know life is hard. You hate your job. You got no friends. Your car’s a heap, your team lost, and the latest episode of your favorite TV series left you empty and broken inside. Well, buck up, little camper. The clouds are parting and the sun is breaking through! A new day is dawning, bringing with it a new kind of joy that only thekchorns.com can provide. That’s right, it’s time for the Kansas City Horns’ Weekend Roundup.
Has it been a week already? Yes, I know, last week was a little lame, as far as posts go. Since the last Weekend Roundup, I only posted one lousy thing, and it was just a photo. A cute photo, sure, but still. That said, there’s something to be said for photos. So much information encoded in one small object. It’s a tiny snippet of time, frozen into a handy little block you can hold in your hands. Well, no one ever holds photos in their hands anymore. They look at them on a computer screen. But the point still stands: Photos are wicked awesome. Worth a thousand words, and all that. So, to make up for the lack of photos last time, I’m going to write 15,000 words about our weekend. Or, since that would be incredibly tiresome, maybe I’ll post 15 photos. See how that works?